What if...

For some reason I decided to revisit this little blog and it started my mind wandering to what if...

What if I had taken this thing seriously and tried to make a career of it...

What if I had put some effort into trying to become a successful blogger...

What if blogging led to being able to stay at home and still provide support for my family...

What if...

I'm probably letting my mind wander this way because I have been off of work for 3 weeks due to gallbladder surgery and I'll be going back in 3 days...oh how I am NOT looking forward to that!

I want to stay at home....I don't want a career outside of my home!  But, I need to work to help support our future and retirement.  So....off to work I go.  Hopefully, I visit this place more frequently in the weeks, months and years to come and blog my thoughts. And who knows...maybe something good will come of this.

All My Yesterday's

In just a few weeks I will "celebrate" my 50th birthday.  I guess it's a milestone of sorts; to some it's depressing to turn 50 to others it's exciting and fun.  I happen to find myself in the middle of those two ends of the spectrum.  If I felt well and if I looked a little better, I might think that 50 wasn't bad at all.  But since I have not always taken care of myself, I happen to feel 50, and it's not always good.

But actually there is a bigger, more important milestone approaching in my life.  One week after my 50th birthday, will be my 30th wedding anniversary! That is a much bigger deal in my opinion.  I probably feel that way because my parents were barely married 5 years when they divorced.  At some point in my blogging life I may decide to write about how that effected me, but not now. :)

I have been going through old photos and scanning them in to my computer because I'm working on a remembrance video to show at our little anniversary party.  I've always loved old photographs and now I know why...they tell the story of all my yesterday's.  Of course I don't have a picture of every yesterday, but I have a lot of pictures and they have brought back a lot of memories over the last week.  Some photos are of days that I will always remember because they were special, happy times, but some of them only remind me of how life has changed over the last decade and how many faces I don't see anymore.  Nonetheless, this is a time to celebrate, and so I will.

I celebrate the fact that in 30 years I have never once seriously thought about ending my marriage.  In 30 years I have never planned a day that didn't include being a wife.  I have never felt that I married too young or that I missed anything by being completely devoted to one man my whole adult life.  I'm thankful that out of my 50 years here on Earth, most of my yesterdays were spent loving one man and knowing that he loved me.

The Lord has blessed us with a long and happy marriage and this means more to me than money, houses, cars or careers.

                       
                                                               

                                                "Bo and Pam"     Est. September 13th, 1983



                                                                   

Look Around

The last 36 hours have been rather disturbing if you live in the United States.  The Boston Marathon is as American as Apple Pie and Cherry Coke, but yesterday someone or some group committed an evil act against people who were celebrating life and liberty. I can't imagine the heartbreak of those who have lost loved ones, or suffered horrible injuries as a result of this.  The only thing I can offer are my sincere prayers for God to heal them physically and spiritually and to help us all to overcome evil with good.

So after soaking in bad news for nearly 24 hours, I decided this afternoon that I needed to get out and look for something to smile about, and boy did I find it.  Beautiful Bradford Pear trees in full bloom, an array of pink blossoms and red and yellow tulips, but the most fun came when I walked in to my front yard and a mommy robin nearly took my head off as I walked past her nest.

Every year some type of bird builds a nest in my front porch light and this year it happens to be a robin.  Now I've heard a lot of people complain about such things; they even take a broom and knock the nest down before the momma can lay eggs, but I would NEVER do that!  I love the birds living in my porch light.  I know that momma bird will scare the crap out of me every time I walk out my front door and I know that she will poop all over my light, but the babies are so sweet and I love watching them grow up and I'm even a little sad when they leave.  

The budding trees, the smell of freshly mowed grass and even the visitor on my porch light all serve to remind me that spring is a new beginning. Things that have been dormant and lifeless for months are starting to come alive again and I'm so happy to take my mind off of the sadness and fear that seem to be everywhere and look at the beauty all around.  Every bloom is a reminder that even after a long cold winter, spring will bring beauty back to life.  I want my thoughts and my prayers to reflect this newness as well.  I want to keep my eyes on good things and enjoy the view!

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

 

Quiet

Because I went to church last night, I am sitting at my kitchen table this morning, drinking a cup of coffee, eating a doughnut, (terrible..I know) and watching the snow softly fall outside my kitchen window.  Quiet moments like this are more frequent now that my children are grown, but I find it a little uncomfortable for the house to be quiet and I'm not sure why. So I got my phone out and started listening to Audrey Assad's song, Winter Snow.  It's a beautiful song that our worship pastor's wife has sung at Christmas a couple of times.  It talks about how Jesus could have come with much fanfare but He came in a quiet peaceful unassuming way, like a soft winter snow.

Sitting quietly before God is not always a comfortable thing to do.  We've been trained in some circles that great moves of God are boisterous and flamboyant.  We like our music loud and we love to clap our hands and hear others around us singing and lifting up the name of Jesus, and believe me I LOVE that type of worship myself!  But there's something to be said for sitting quietly and waiting on God's voice to speak to our hearts.  This week I had a decision to make involving work. I spoke with Bo and about it, I shared with friends and I contemplated asking the facebook world to join me in praying about what I should do. Huh?  I'm considering a career decision and I want to involve the facebook world?  Thank the Lord I reconsidered that option! Instead I began to pray for God to speak to my heart in whatever way He chose, to lead me to the right decision....and He did.

I love the Bible's account in 1 Kings 19 of how Elijah is ready to throw in the towel but decides to obey an angel sent to him, and stand on the mountain before God and listen for Him.  The Bible says that a great wind came and then a great earthquake came and then a great fire came, but the Lord's voice was not in any of those things.  The word of the Lord came to Elijah in a still small voice.

A quiet season of life is not to be ignored, for when we are humble and quiet, we sometimes experience the most powerful move of God.  The kind of experience that comforts us in stressful times and guides us in uncertain times.  Thank you, Lord for quiet moments when you speak to my heart and I hear that still small voice letting me know that you are near.  Thank you for tears that fall in quiet times, when only you can understand the aching in my heart.  Thank you for quiet moments when only you see my grateful heart that overflows with joy unspeakable.

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19 11-12

                                                                  

Chasing After You

One of my new favorite songs is called "Chasing After You (The Morning Song) by Tye Tribbett. I have listened to this song so many times that I don't care to try to guess just how many times.  The thought of chasing something or someone for your entire life sounds a bit exhausting, but in this case it only makes sense.  Tye is referring to chasing after God each and every day, and not being satisfied with yesterday's portion.

Jesus told us the those who hunger and thirst for righteousness shall be filled and I kind of like to add "will keep being filled as they keep hungering for more". I think of being a God-chaser as being a person who hungers and thirst for righteousness. The wonderful thing about hungering for God or chasing after God is that HE captures YOU when YOU chase HIM. In Phillippians 3:12-14 Paul talks about laying hold of the things that Christ Jesus has laid hold of for me and pressing toward the prize.  It's hard to put in to words what this means, but I think Tye Tribbett translated it best in his song with these words " I will apprehend, until I'm captured by what I'm after". Wow!  I love that!

And this is what the Lord has whispered to me about chasing Him and being captured:

When I chase God, He captures me. And when He captures me, I AM FREE!

There's nothing like being free!!!

Thank you Lord, for this wonderful cat and mouse game we play.  I chase you, you chase me and the end result is that I can live in freedom as I live in You! 


Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36


Link to Tye Tribbett's song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrDqi7HQzUc

Gving Thanks

There are so many things to be thankful for, that as cliche as it sounds, every day should be a day of thanks.  I have been blessed with a wonderful, but not perfect family, and thankfully they have been blessed with the patience to put up with a not perfect me.  I have been blessed with many mentors in my life.  People who I look up to; people who inspire me to use my gifts and my resources to help others.  I have been blessed with good health, and a sound mind.  I have been blessed with provision and a safe place to call home.  I have been blessed with friends who laugh when I laugh and cry when I cry and make me realize that friendship is worth the effort you put in to it.  I have been blessed with memories of days that where spent with loved ones that are no longer here, and hope that I will be with them again some day. 

No greater love have I been blessed with, than knowing Jesus Christ as my savior.  He is the cornerstone on which my life is built.  I fail Him, but He always welcomes me back with arms of love and mercy.  The Bible tells us to give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for us in Christ Jesus. When I was a child my grandmother taught me a simple prayer and today seems a fitting day to recite it:

                                                Thank you for the world so sweet,
                                                Thank you for the food we eat,
                                                Thank you for the birds that sing,
                                                Thank you God for everything.

                                                             

True Thankfullness (keepin' it real y'all)

Well, another Thanksgiving is upon us and I'm not only contemplating the meal, but the season.  First Thanksgiving, then Black Friday shopping, then Christmas, then of course the New Year.  This year seems like a blur, to be honest; I can't believe that it has gone so fast. Of course, I'm thankful for life and health and family and the confidence I have in knowing that God is for me, but to be honest this year and even this Christmas season has brought challenges that have distracted me from just how much God loves me.


No Christmas bonus at work this year means that our Christmas money is no where near what we usually have to spend.  I haven't accomplished most of the goals I challenged myself with this year and many of the prayers I have longingly prayed have still been answered with silence or wait.  Waiting...not my favorite thing to do.  Yesterday I found myself feeling a little sorry for my predicament, then one simple picture brought me back to me senses.

                                                                        

This picture was in my Facebook news feed.  A couple from my church has given up houses and cars and incomes to go to Kenya to serve people who truly face some of life's most difficult circumstances.  Those who are broken and hurting, those who are poor and sick, those who are hungry physically and spiritually.  As I starred at this picture I wept with conviction.  Smiling faces, hands raised high, giving praise to the Lord God Almighty.  I am so thankful for this picture and for Greg and Sherri Howard and their love for God and His precious people.  How can I focus on myself, when I see this beautiful picture of worship that is undoubtedly offered in spirit and in truth, just what our Father is seeking.

The truth is that serving God is not about things or even answered prayers, it is about knowing who I am and trusting God to supply what I need and to work things for my good. The truth is that I AM BLESSED! Lord, help me to walk in thankfulness every day, and to keep my eyes on you!

For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, And I have walked in Your truth. Psalm 26:3

                                                                           

Why did we lose the election?

Well, the election is over and I have to say that the outcome has been a bummer.  It's not so much that Romney lost, I didn't even think that he was great candidate.  It's not so much that Obama won, though I think he is not good for our country.  It's because of the way I have heard people talk before, during and after this election. 

Before, there were endless posts that were at times, well...ridiculous.  People posting crazy things on facebook in an attempt to sway people not to vote for Obama.  Then election day came and I was caught a little off guard by some of my friends and family.  My son, who is a very analytical thinker, could not in good conscience vote for either of the candidates, even though he knew that a third party vote would basically help Obama.  Friends who flat refused to vote because the couldn't support either candidate, and family members who acted as though you would be excommunicated from the family if you didn't agree with them.  Then after the election, the depressing and angry posts on facebook were enough to ruin my day.  To be honest, I still don't feel back to normal.

Sooo many scriptures went through my head today, like the Lord is a shield around me, my glory and the lifter of my head.  Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might.  The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  The blessings of the Lord makes me rich and adds no sorrow.  These words along with a song that I listened to several times, have kept me from feeling too depressed. Then to add to my very blue feeling today, I started thinking about my mom. 

My mom went in to the hospital for the last time a few weeks after the 08 election.  The stock market was crashing, the banks were failing and the stimulus package was being hotly debated on TV.  She loved a good political debate and due to her very limited physical ability at that point, she had been glued to the TV through it all watching all of the breaking news.  As she lay in her dying bed, she rarely spoke as she simply had no air in her lungs to spare, but one evening she looked up at me and said "why did we lose the election?"  It broke my heart to think that in her weak state, she was still worrying about our country.  I very quickly told her that the election didn't matter and that God would take care of us no matter who was president.  I believed it then, and I believe it now.  God always comforts and provides for His people. His name is a strong tower that the righteous run in to and they are saved.

I pray that our nation heals from the bitter divide we have created with our political rhetoric.  I pray that our president is visited in his dreams and is overtaken in his waking hours by the spirit of the living God calling him to lead with honesty and to follow Jesus.  I pray that as we try to pick up the pieces, we become a nation of God chasers.  Lord, have your way in this country and lead your people in the way everlasting. 

Hurricanes, elections and the common cold

Well, I seem to start with good intentions, but I rarely keep up with this blogging thing.  Oh, I have a lot to say... but I don't have the time or inclination to share it most days.  :)

As I sit here typing, the east coast is being battered by Hurricane Sandy.  So many lives being affected by this enormous storm.  I pray that God keeps them safe and gives them the wisdom to protect themselves and the lives of those who may be called on to rescue others. The news footage is sensationalized, the weathermen are completely insane for putting themselves in such danger and I can't stop watching!!!  It's like a train wreck. 

Speaking of train wrecks...we're just a few days away from election day, and the political rhetoric is at an all time high, or low depending on how you look at it.  I've always been interested in politics, but with the advent of social media and 24/7 news coverage, I am totally burnt out on this election and I can't wait for it to be over.  As a conservative minded person, I feel like my choice between these two men is a no brainer.  But on the other hand, I'm not completely comfortable with the vote I am about to cast.  Oh that God would bring people in to politics that are not hungry for power or the adoration of men and women.  Oh that God would open the eyes and hearts of the American people to do what is right in His sight.  My heart is broken at the erosion of morals our country is experiencing.  Now, I am by no means perfect, but I can see clearly that our country has become weak when it comes to right and wrong.  How can we continue to sanction the killing of unborn babies?  I know it's a complicated issue when you throw in words like "rape" and "the life of the mother", but those are the exception to the norm when it comes to the thousands of abortions performed in our country each day.  Yet, because I personally know someone who had an abortion and regrets it to this day, I have compassion for those who have made this terrible choice.  Still, I must cast my vote for the platform that seems to stand more for the rights of the unborn, along with other social issues.  So...I hold my nose and do what I believe is right and I pray that God has His way.

And now to the common cold....I have one.  I have coughed, sneezed, blown, taken pills, slept and prayed for nearly a week to be rid of this evil cold, but it still lingers. I'm sore from coughing, I have circles under my eyes and my nose is raw.  Poor poor me!  My grandma went over 10 years without a cold once.  She was a strong feisty woman who would say "you might want to take a cold, but I ain't takin' it!!   I miss her. 

Time for bed....and one more thought.  I serve a great God.  He is kind and merciful and there to comfort us in all of our trials and afflictions. Jesus said "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Hurricanes and difficult elections and common colds are just some of the trials we endure as travelers here on Earth, but thanks be to God who causes us to overcome!!!

                                                              

WWJD

                                                                          
                                                              What Would Jesus Do?

No, I didn't by myself a new bracelet with these letters or words on it, but it has been on my mind lately. (the words, not the bracelet)  In recent years this phrase has become quite cliche, but in reality it's a question we really should ask ourselves when it comes to most every topic in life. The event that got my mind puzzling these words is watching my facebook news feed blow up in recent days with folks choosing sides on several different debates, one being the Chik fil A issue.  I think the most cleaver post was this one:

Oh, the battled raged for days about this subject and I added my two cents once or twice, but avoided participating in any heated arguments.  As the above picture states so plainly, why is the world so surprised by the answer Mr. Cathy gave regarding this subject? And what would Jesus answer have been to the question that got the restaurant owner mired in controversy?  Also, why is it being debated in the first place? I think it's because we've come right down to the nitty gritty of how can a Christian love people and lead them to Christ, when we know that they are not going to agree with what the Bible clearly says about these and other matters.  I am not a Bible scholar but I have studied enough to know that when I have a dilemma going on around me I can usually find a useful answer right there between the pages of Genesis and Revelation.  But "the world" isn't interested in what the Bible says about sin.

Also, in the past week I kept an eye on another facebook war between an old friend (who is now a pastor) and his Bible college classmate.  It seems the classmate feels that my pastor-friend has become "soft" to sin and has publicly called the saints to pray that he will see the error of his ways.  In doing so he has riled the anger of many Christians due to his public rebuke of the pastor and his extremely "religious" opinions.  I say religious because he reminds me of the the Sadducee's and Pharisee's of Jesus' day with his "I am holy because I keep every commandment" attitude.  420 comments later, they are all still arguing. (none of those were my comments, by the way)  But all of this caused me to wonder what would Jesus do or say if he were peeking at facebook during these heated debates? (which He may very well be)

As a result of my wondering, I have decided to spend the next few weeks studying the red letters in my Bible.  I've read the four gospels in the past, but never to intentionally focus solely on the words of Jesus. In light of recent events I think this is the perfect time to do so.  I may share a bit of that on this blog or facebook, not in the hopes of sparking debate, but to simply chronicle the revelation I hope to receive from it.  In the mean time, I am still asking myself, WWJD?

                                                                               
                                                                           

                                                          

Wait.....for.....it......

Waiting!  Songs have been written about it, lives have been ruined by it, character has been built by it and I can't stand it!  Are you waiting on something?  Me too; it seems I'm always waiting.  Waiting in line, waiting for a table, (one of my least favorite things to do, by the way) waiting for test results, waiting on a phone call, waiting in traffic, waiting for the mail to run, waiting to see how it all turns out, waiting on a check, waiting on the water to boil...and the list goes on.

It feels like we spend most of our lives waiting.  Tom Petty says that "The waiting is the hardest part. You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part". One of my favorite oldies songs is "You can't hurry love, you just have to wait.  Love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take...".  Or how about John Mayer's "Waiting On the World to Change"? "We just keeping waiting...waiting on the world to change." All great songs about the one thing EVERYONE has in common...waiting.

Waiting takes patience and my patience wears out after a while.  When I say, "honey will you take the garbage out?' and he says, sure. Then 5 minutes later it's still there...I just go ahead and do it myself.  Therein lies the problem.  When I'm tired of waiting on something, I tend to take matters in to my own hands and "help" the situation get resolved.  Now, this ain't a bad thing if your waiting on your husband to take the garbage out, although it has caused a few riffs around here, but it can be a very bad thing when you're waiting on God to resolve a situation, only to help Him out and ruin His plan.

The Bible says a lot about waiting, to find this out I typed the words "wait on the Lord" in the search box on biblegateway.com and, wow! You should see all the results I got! But I think my most favorite verse has always been Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." According to this verse, waiting can bring about a renewal of strength, and a determination to keep on without growing weary or fainting? Umm... that still doesn't make me want to sign up for the "waiting group" at church.  I think I'd rather be in the "march around 7 times and shout for victory group".  But...my preference to be a doer rather than a waiter, is not going to get me anywhere when it comes to waiting on things to come to pass that I have no control over.  James 1:4 says to let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

My prayer this week is that I find rest in the "waiting areas" of my life.  I want to experience the kind of peace that only comes when your faith in God is so strong that no amount of waiting will cause you to doubt that God is working things out for your good. A non-wearying, non-fainting, strength-renewing, patience-perfecting, kind of faith. Lord, teach me how to wait...  

                                                                               

Leap Day.

Today is Leap Day, February 29th. I happen to have known someone born on Leap Day. His name was Walter Saylor and he was the best Father in law and grandpa a person could ask for. Never a cross word from him, never a selfish act, never a moment when you felt you could not count on him.

At his funeral 7 years ago, people spoke of how kind and compassionate he was. They talked of how he had visited them in the hospital or called on them when he knew they were going through a rough time. He was truly a kind, loving, godly man.

I hope someday that people will remember me as a kind person. I hope that someday, what I have done with my life will count for more than just the amount of dollars in my bank account or the "things" I leave behind.

Happy Leap Day, Walter Saylor! You and your kind spirit and warm smile are truly missed.

Spare Bedrooms and Memories

Although I had plenty of work to do, I spent the morning looking at blogs and pictures and getting ideas on what to do with my spare bedroom. Now that "most" of Kayleigh's things are gone, I can begin the process of redoing the room and the major task of getting rid of that pink and black paint!

I never cared for Kayleigh's color scheme. In fact, while I was at work several years ago, I came home to find my mom and Kayleigh painting the room pink and black. They had spent the day laughing and painting and buying bookshelves. My comment was that it looked like a sleazy nightclub in there. But, my mom had a blast helping her and I just let it be.

I stood in that almost empty room this morning, removing stickers from the doors and posters from the walls, while memories of that day and many others filled my mind. Days that I woke Kayleigh up for school, talks that I had with her in that room, and yes, even some heated arguments. I can still hear the sounds of young girls giggling as they hung out together watching movies and talking about boys. The stink of that awful turtle she loved and though I can see the ugly gold carpet now, normally the room was so messy you couldn't see the floor.

I starting looking around and thinking of what changes to make and then the thought came to me that this was the room that my daughter had grown up in. This is where she lay at night telling God the desires of her heart. This was the place she studied His word and this was the place that she probably cried many tears, as most teenage girls do. In this room she said her prayers with her dad, repeating the "now I lay me down to sleep" prayer that was their nightly routine for so many years. And in this room she grew from a little girl in to a lovely young woman. This was the window she gazed out as she dreamed of where her life would someday take her. Yes, it brought a tear to my eye as I thought of all the memories that were made in this room.

I started taking things off of the wall and reading some of the notes she had stuck to black poster paper she used as decoration. Her notes reminded me that though she was grown and now leaving this room behind, the things she dreamed of, the prayers she prayed and the lessons learned here would be with her forever. The memories are part of who she is and they will never leave her....or me.

Sharing tragedy.

Well, I managed to do as I said I would. I listened to my mom's favorite song. I spent a few minutes off and on throughout my day thinking of her and how I miss her. Then I wrapped Christmas presents and listened to Christmas music. I watched football and then went to a birthday party. I smiled, I laughed and I had fun. I never mentioned to anyone the significance of this date.

After returning home I received a text message from my dearest friend. A friend who visited my mom in the hospital just days before she died. A friend who listened to me when I needed to cry and relieve my sorrows. She was sending me the awful news that her own mother had committed suicide this evening. As soon as I read her message a flood of tears and pain overwhelmed me. Our mothers died on the same day? I called her, I tried to comfort her, but how can I really do that? There are no words that can ease the pain of the loss of someone you love, and to lose them in this manner is nearly unbearable.

I don't care how strong you are, or how spiritual you are, some things will knock the wind out of you. I will never understand this situation, but I know that comfort comes from God alone. Amy and I will always love each other for the things that we have in common, the fun that we share and encouragement that we get from one another. And now this...we will share the day that we lost our mothers. We now have hearts that are broken in the exact same place, and a date on the calendar that will hold the memory of loss and sadness.

Amy will get through this, because she belongs to God. We both belong to God and His joy is our strength. His word tells us that He is close to the brokenhearted. Dear Lord, please comfort Amy and her entire family. Let the supernatural healing and strength of your precious Holy Spirit lift them from tragedy to triumph. In Jesus name...amen.

Moving on....

Tomorrow will mark three years since my mom passed away. I've been thinking about her a lot the last few weeks. In fact, in the last several days, I have been wishing that I could pick up the phone and call her. We used to spend many hours every week on the phone. She loved to talk and because she was mostly house bound, it was a way for her to be social.

As the years have passed, I have marked several important days in my life without her. She missed Steven graduating from college. I've celebrated birthdays without her, I've celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas Days without her. And most recently, I watched my daughter walk down the aisle to become a married woman without my mom by my side.

This year, I will do my best not to dwell on the anniversary of the death of my mom. I will do my best to go about my day as usual, even though I will think of her and that horrible day. My mom was fun loving and never one to wallow in self pity. I never knew her to speak of the anniversary of the death of her dad, or any other person that she loved. She just wasn't that kind of person. She lived for the moment and she didn't dwell on loss. In this area, I need to be a little more like her.

Her favorite song was the Rascal Flats song, Life Is A Highway, it was actually the ring tone on her phone. :) I'll probably listen to that song tomorrow, I might even have a little cry. Then I will go about my day...just what she would want me to do.

Unconditional Love

Tonight, as I was tidying up my bedroom, I was sort of watching TV out of the corner of my eye, and caught a story about a blind dog and his "seeing eye companion". It seems a pair of Great Dane's in England were in need of new home, and the local news ran the story that one was blind and the other stayed close by his side leading him and helping to keep him safe. They showed video of the dogs walking and running together. They looked at content as I've ever seen a dog. The pose that stuck me most was of the blind dog leaning against the chest of the dog that was not blind. It was such a sweet picture...in fact, it made me cry.

As I watched this story my mind instantly flashed back to an elderly couple that lived in the nursing home where my grandfather lived before he died. The man seemed to be in very good health. He walked well, seemed to have a very sharp mind and was as kind a man as I've ever seen. The only physical problem was that he was legally blind. He could see well enough to walk around the nursing home, but he said he only saw shadows and could not read or drive. His wife however, was in much worse condition suffering from alzhiemers. She didn't talk much, she seemed scared most of the time. She needed help with feeding and dressing and just about everything else. The husband would sit ever so patiently, feeding her everyday and wiping her mouth. He would hold her hand and tell her she was "doing great". He was so affectionate with her that you couldn't help but pay attention to them. He told me one time that she had been an excellent wife. He said she had taken such good care of him and their family and now it was his turn to help her. The love he had for her was written all over his face, and with every bite of food he gave her and every pat on the hand, you could sense his devotion to his bride.

I believe examples like this are a way for us to examine what unconditional love really looks like. It looks like a dog leading his best buddy, a blind dog, on a walk. It looks like an elderly man feeding his wife and telling her how wonderful she's doing. It looks like a wounded soldier falling in to the arms of his awaiting family. It looks like a mother holding a child in her arms who has done something wrong, and needs forgiveness. It looks like a savior giving his life for the worst of the worst and never considering saving himself.

The good news is, the two dogs in the story found a new home and they were kept together. It's very unlikely that the blind dog could have survived on his own after being cared for so well by his devoted companion. In my own life, I can honestly say that there would be no way for me to survive without the unconditional love of God. He has lead me when I could not see which way to go. He has kept me when my mind was full of fear an doubt. He has given me purpose and most importantly, unconditional love. I want to experience the wholeness of God's love and I want to show the wholeness of God's love. Someday, when Bo and I are old (older), I hope that you find us sitting together, holding hands and knowing that we will never be alone as long as the other is alive. In the mean time, my goal is to take notice of these wonderful examples unconditional love, and to take notice of the unconditional love I have been given.

Time to set the clocks back!

Wow, what an exhausting, but rewarding week we have had. Kayleigh and Gabe got the keys to their house, and we started working on it Wednesday. It needed a lot of work and some TLC or HGTV or something! Anyway, after many hours and a many sore muscles..it looks great! I was so proud of how Kayleigh went in there and worked on it and made it so cute. She did a great job of taking what she had, and using it to make her little rental house a home.

I know she is looking forward to the wedding, but looking forward even more to beginning her new life. Life on her own with her new husband; life as an independent adult. I also want her to move on with her life and become a responsible adult, a young woman who loves God and puts His ways before hers. I want her to become the wife that God intends for her to be; bringing glory to God in the way she handles her household and the way she takes care of her husband and family. (The proverbial Proverbs 31 woman..pun intended) But I must admit, there is a little part of me that would like to turn the clock back 20 years this weekend, instead of just one hour, as the calendar has told us to do.

When my children were young I used to think how nice it would be when they could dress themselves, feed themselves and get themselves ready for school, then I looked forward to the day when they could drive themselves to and from all of their activities. Then I started looking forward to the day when they would make their own money and not be dependent on us. Now...it's time to let my little girl go...to turn loose and let her leave the nest to stretch her wings and make her way to the new life she is so anxious to begin. I will continue to pray for her and for Gabe daily, that God will protect them and prosper them and give them peace and wisdom. That he will bring people in to their lives that encourage them and make them better people, and I pray that they become leaders among their friends. That they help others, that they minister to hurting people, that their house is a house of prayer and praise to God for his goodness and mercy. I will pray that they have confidence in God's promises to them and that they are humble enough to ask for forgiveness when they make a mistake. I pray that they raise their family in the ways of God and that they find His favor and mercy in every area of their lives.

I can't turn the clock back 20 years, but I can trust God to make the next 20 years beautiful in ways that I can only dream of. No longer looking forward to the day when this or that happens, but living in the here and now and enjoying the blessings and trials that make this a wonderful life.

Just what I needed.

I find that when I try to do God's job, I work myself in to a frenzy. There's nothing more exhausting than several sleepless nights, several worrisome days, and a nagging feeling that you're not making any progress. Well...why do I do it then?

I read a quote from Joyce Meyer one time that went something like this: Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. It keeps you busy, but you don't get anywhere. That seems to be the theme of my week so far. But....

Just when I started to believe that God was not listening to my heart's cry, He comes through with a word that is loud and clear. I guess, if I had been looking in the right places, I may have found his voice several days ago, and saved myself a lot and time and turmoil. But...

Just when I needed to hear it most...God said "Let go". What a relief! He CAN handle the things that I can't. He CAN take care of those I love. He makes a way where there seems to be none, He parts the sea just when the enemy appears to be closing in.

Thank you Lord...for all those things you do...that are just what I need.

Luke 12:29-31 (New Living Translation)
“And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

Love is....

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

When I think of all the things that love is...I realize I've been a lot more of what love ISN'T, than what love IS. In fact, as I look over the list, I think the only one that I can truly say that I don't have a problem with is the rejoicing over an injustice. Sadly, the rest of them have been a challenge for me. Sometimes I am challenged by them daily. Galatians 5:6 tells us that faith works by love. Oh boy, I need both!!

Today happens to be my birthday, and birthday's are usually a time for looking back and of course, looking forward. I have a lot to look forward to this year and I believe that God is preparing me for more wonderful things to come. I seem to hear Him whisper in my ear, "love me more, love people more, and watch what great and awesome things I will do". My birthday prayer this evening has been the same prayer I heard my Grandpa Burns pray a couple of years ago. "Help me Lord, to love you more and to love people the way you love them". I'm ready to be changed from the inside out...to love Him more...from the inside out. I'm ready to be more like Him, to love like Him, to walk and talk like Him.

1 John 4:16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

Same Name

For unto us a child is born....and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them....let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole....for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4: 8-12

There's a new show on TV called "Same Name". The concept is that an ordinary person switches lives for a couple of days, with a celebrity of the same name. It was pretty entertaining to watch Mike Tyson, a white, middle-classed nurse, from Michigan, switch lives with the boxer, Mike Tyson. Not one person in Michigan mistook the real Mike Tyson for the nurse that worked in their clinic. I've heard people say "it doesn't matter which god you choose, as long as you're a good person, you will go to heaven. I'm sorry...but that is incorrect. I know in whom I have believed...no other name can save me...no other name can heal me...no other name can make me whole....only Jesus.