All My Yesterday's

In just a few weeks I will "celebrate" my 50th birthday.  I guess it's a milestone of sorts; to some it's depressing to turn 50 to others it's exciting and fun.  I happen to find myself in the middle of those two ends of the spectrum.  If I felt well and if I looked a little better, I might think that 50 wasn't bad at all.  But since I have not always taken care of myself, I happen to feel 50, and it's not always good.

But actually there is a bigger, more important milestone approaching in my life.  One week after my 50th birthday, will be my 30th wedding anniversary! That is a much bigger deal in my opinion.  I probably feel that way because my parents were barely married 5 years when they divorced.  At some point in my blogging life I may decide to write about how that effected me, but not now. :)

I have been going through old photos and scanning them in to my computer because I'm working on a remembrance video to show at our little anniversary party.  I've always loved old photographs and now I know why...they tell the story of all my yesterday's.  Of course I don't have a picture of every yesterday, but I have a lot of pictures and they have brought back a lot of memories over the last week.  Some photos are of days that I will always remember because they were special, happy times, but some of them only remind me of how life has changed over the last decade and how many faces I don't see anymore.  Nonetheless, this is a time to celebrate, and so I will.

I celebrate the fact that in 30 years I have never once seriously thought about ending my marriage.  In 30 years I have never planned a day that didn't include being a wife.  I have never felt that I married too young or that I missed anything by being completely devoted to one man my whole adult life.  I'm thankful that out of my 50 years here on Earth, most of my yesterdays were spent loving one man and knowing that he loved me.

The Lord has blessed us with a long and happy marriage and this means more to me than money, houses, cars or careers.

                       
                                                               

                                                "Bo and Pam"     Est. September 13th, 1983



                                                                   

Look Around

The last 36 hours have been rather disturbing if you live in the United States.  The Boston Marathon is as American as Apple Pie and Cherry Coke, but yesterday someone or some group committed an evil act against people who were celebrating life and liberty. I can't imagine the heartbreak of those who have lost loved ones, or suffered horrible injuries as a result of this.  The only thing I can offer are my sincere prayers for God to heal them physically and spiritually and to help us all to overcome evil with good.

So after soaking in bad news for nearly 24 hours, I decided this afternoon that I needed to get out and look for something to smile about, and boy did I find it.  Beautiful Bradford Pear trees in full bloom, an array of pink blossoms and red and yellow tulips, but the most fun came when I walked in to my front yard and a mommy robin nearly took my head off as I walked past her nest.

Every year some type of bird builds a nest in my front porch light and this year it happens to be a robin.  Now I've heard a lot of people complain about such things; they even take a broom and knock the nest down before the momma can lay eggs, but I would NEVER do that!  I love the birds living in my porch light.  I know that momma bird will scare the crap out of me every time I walk out my front door and I know that she will poop all over my light, but the babies are so sweet and I love watching them grow up and I'm even a little sad when they leave.  

The budding trees, the smell of freshly mowed grass and even the visitor on my porch light all serve to remind me that spring is a new beginning. Things that have been dormant and lifeless for months are starting to come alive again and I'm so happy to take my mind off of the sadness and fear that seem to be everywhere and look at the beauty all around.  Every bloom is a reminder that even after a long cold winter, spring will bring beauty back to life.  I want my thoughts and my prayers to reflect this newness as well.  I want to keep my eyes on good things and enjoy the view!

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

 

Quiet

Because I went to church last night, I am sitting at my kitchen table this morning, drinking a cup of coffee, eating a doughnut, (terrible..I know) and watching the snow softly fall outside my kitchen window.  Quiet moments like this are more frequent now that my children are grown, but I find it a little uncomfortable for the house to be quiet and I'm not sure why. So I got my phone out and started listening to Audrey Assad's song, Winter Snow.  It's a beautiful song that our worship pastor's wife has sung at Christmas a couple of times.  It talks about how Jesus could have come with much fanfare but He came in a quiet peaceful unassuming way, like a soft winter snow.

Sitting quietly before God is not always a comfortable thing to do.  We've been trained in some circles that great moves of God are boisterous and flamboyant.  We like our music loud and we love to clap our hands and hear others around us singing and lifting up the name of Jesus, and believe me I LOVE that type of worship myself!  But there's something to be said for sitting quietly and waiting on God's voice to speak to our hearts.  This week I had a decision to make involving work. I spoke with Bo and about it, I shared with friends and I contemplated asking the facebook world to join me in praying about what I should do. Huh?  I'm considering a career decision and I want to involve the facebook world?  Thank the Lord I reconsidered that option! Instead I began to pray for God to speak to my heart in whatever way He chose, to lead me to the right decision....and He did.

I love the Bible's account in 1 Kings 19 of how Elijah is ready to throw in the towel but decides to obey an angel sent to him, and stand on the mountain before God and listen for Him.  The Bible says that a great wind came and then a great earthquake came and then a great fire came, but the Lord's voice was not in any of those things.  The word of the Lord came to Elijah in a still small voice.

A quiet season of life is not to be ignored, for when we are humble and quiet, we sometimes experience the most powerful move of God.  The kind of experience that comforts us in stressful times and guides us in uncertain times.  Thank you, Lord for quiet moments when you speak to my heart and I hear that still small voice letting me know that you are near.  Thank you for tears that fall in quiet times, when only you can understand the aching in my heart.  Thank you for quiet moments when only you see my grateful heart that overflows with joy unspeakable.

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19 11-12