Sharing tragedy.

Well, I managed to do as I said I would. I listened to my mom's favorite song. I spent a few minutes off and on throughout my day thinking of her and how I miss her. Then I wrapped Christmas presents and listened to Christmas music. I watched football and then went to a birthday party. I smiled, I laughed and I had fun. I never mentioned to anyone the significance of this date.

After returning home I received a text message from my dearest friend. A friend who visited my mom in the hospital just days before she died. A friend who listened to me when I needed to cry and relieve my sorrows. She was sending me the awful news that her own mother had committed suicide this evening. As soon as I read her message a flood of tears and pain overwhelmed me. Our mothers died on the same day? I called her, I tried to comfort her, but how can I really do that? There are no words that can ease the pain of the loss of someone you love, and to lose them in this manner is nearly unbearable.

I don't care how strong you are, or how spiritual you are, some things will knock the wind out of you. I will never understand this situation, but I know that comfort comes from God alone. Amy and I will always love each other for the things that we have in common, the fun that we share and encouragement that we get from one another. And now this...we will share the day that we lost our mothers. We now have hearts that are broken in the exact same place, and a date on the calendar that will hold the memory of loss and sadness.

Amy will get through this, because she belongs to God. We both belong to God and His joy is our strength. His word tells us that He is close to the brokenhearted. Dear Lord, please comfort Amy and her entire family. Let the supernatural healing and strength of your precious Holy Spirit lift them from tragedy to triumph. In Jesus name...amen.

Moving on....

Tomorrow will mark three years since my mom passed away. I've been thinking about her a lot the last few weeks. In fact, in the last several days, I have been wishing that I could pick up the phone and call her. We used to spend many hours every week on the phone. She loved to talk and because she was mostly house bound, it was a way for her to be social.

As the years have passed, I have marked several important days in my life without her. She missed Steven graduating from college. I've celebrated birthdays without her, I've celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas Days without her. And most recently, I watched my daughter walk down the aisle to become a married woman without my mom by my side.

This year, I will do my best not to dwell on the anniversary of the death of my mom. I will do my best to go about my day as usual, even though I will think of her and that horrible day. My mom was fun loving and never one to wallow in self pity. I never knew her to speak of the anniversary of the death of her dad, or any other person that she loved. She just wasn't that kind of person. She lived for the moment and she didn't dwell on loss. In this area, I need to be a little more like her.

Her favorite song was the Rascal Flats song, Life Is A Highway, it was actually the ring tone on her phone. :) I'll probably listen to that song tomorrow, I might even have a little cry. Then I will go about my day...just what she would want me to do.