Tomorrow will mark three years since my mom passed away. I've been thinking about her a lot the last few weeks. In fact, in the last several days, I have been wishing that I could pick up the phone and call her. We used to spend many hours every week on the phone. She loved to talk and because she was mostly house bound, it was a way for her to be social.
As the years have passed, I have marked several important days in my life without her. She missed Steven graduating from college. I've celebrated birthdays without her, I've celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas Days without her. And most recently, I watched my daughter walk down the aisle to become a married woman without my mom by my side.
This year, I will do my best not to dwell on the anniversary of the death of my mom. I will do my best to go about my day as usual, even though I will think of her and that horrible day. My mom was fun loving and never one to wallow in self pity. I never knew her to speak of the anniversary of the death of her dad, or any other person that she loved. She just wasn't that kind of person. She lived for the moment and she didn't dwell on loss. In this area, I need to be a little more like her.
Her favorite song was the Rascal Flats song, Life Is A Highway, it was actually the ring tone on her phone. :) I'll probably listen to that song tomorrow, I might even have a little cry. Then I will go about my day...just what she would want me to do.
So much I could relate to in this (beautiful!) post, especially about the things I wish I could have shared with my mom, the things I would've liked to talk to her about. We weren't all that close, as there were some major issues between us,but I understood her so much better once I had my own family and wished I could have told her so. In the years since my parents' passings I have found help and healing in celebrating each of their LIVES on the anniversary of their deaths. I think I got the idea from inspirational writer/speaker Barbara Johnson, who got through the loss of her sons by doing just that. So now I remember laughter we shared, wear certain clothes that remind me of them, do things we used to do together for fun, even eat their favorite foods. I try to make it a day of joy instead of sorrow. I'm so grateful to God for giving me that idea, and it's put a whole new meaning behind the Scripture in Deuteronomy 30:19 that says "...I have set before you life and death... Now choose life...". As always, thanks for sharing your heart. I love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Elaine. You're absolutely right...I should celebrate her life, and not dwell on her death. You're such an inspiration. Love you too!
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