Feeling a little troubled in my spirit this evening, I began to get ready for bed and pray that God would lead me to a scripture this evening that would ease my mind. Lying next to my bed, on the nightstand, was my Bible and it was open to the book of Nahum. Nahum? Who reads Nahum? Anyway, this is my "Spirit Filled Life Bible for Women" and it has lots of little side stories and encouraging words from mighty women of God. I started to reading through a couple of the stories as I turned the pages and then something caught my eye:
Habakkuk 2: 2-4 “ Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. 4 “ Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith."
Here's the Pam translation. Write the vision! Make it plain and expect it to happen! It may take a while, but it will come to pass! Don't be proud and take matters in to your own hands...LIVE BY FAITH!
I read those words in my Bible, then I prayed, "Ok, Lord, I got it. You Are reassuring me that all the things I have been waiting on are surely going to happen and you're reminding me to live by faith." After this I started feeling a bit better and decided to flip through the New Testament and see if there was something else that I should study before calling it a night. I turned to the book of Galations (I love Galations) and my eyes fell instantly to the top corner of the page where I had underlined Galations 3:11 "But no one is justified by the law in the sight of God. For the just shall live by faith." So...what is God trying to tell me? Have I missed something along the way? I thought I understood this the first time; the just shall live by faith!
Maybe the question I should be pondering is am I truly living by faith if I am worrying and troubled. God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind...so why should I worry? I think the answer must be that I am one of the proud. No, not "proud" as in boastful and full of myself. But the kind of person that thinks I should be able to handle every situation..so I begin to have the conversation in my head that starts something like this: "why hasn't this happened yet..is there something wrong with me or someone else...maybe I should say something..maybe I should do something...maybe I should just let it be known that I am waiting on/expecting (insert need) to happen? Maybe...what if....I don't know if I should...I can't possibly just sit here and wait for....I have to do something. Worry, worry more, repeat as necessary.
I believe that God is telling me to trust in the work HE has already done, and is going to do. I can not fix every problem or right every wrong. I can not make people behave the way I think they should. I can not change circumstances that are beyond my control. Do I have enough trust in God to live by faith?
Well, tonight I have decided to start where this evening began; I am writing the vision and making it plain.
I BELIEVE YOU LORD...BUT HELP MY UNBELIEF. I WILL TRUST YOU GOD, EVEN WHEN MY FEELINGS AND CIRCUMSTANCES SEEM FAR FROM WHAT YOU HAVE PROMISED ME....I WILL TRUST IN YOU. I GIVE YOU MY WORRIES AND MY FUTURE AND I CHOOSE LIVE BY FAITH. YOUR GRACE IS SUFFICIENT, YOUR STRENGTH IS PERFECT IN MY WEAKNESS, YOUR PERFECT LOVE HAS CAST OUT ALL FEAR! AMEN.