The week ahead will hold some uncomfortable moments for me. In fact, there is so much going on in my life right now that I'm a bit overwhelmed by the thought of it. I was wondering today, why am I so lethargic? Why is it so hard for me to get motivated to do anything? Why do I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day? Well, it's probably because I'm looking to the future with dread.
I never dreamed that two years after my mom's death I would be getting ready to head to court to ask a judge to let me "settle her estate". How could I have gotten myself in to this situation? Why didn't I take care of all of this legal business before she died? I know the true answer is that I was overwhelmed by her illness. I was overwhelmed with responsibility. And I didn't want her to think I was giving up on her, therefore I didn't ask the right questions. So, now that there's no way to go back and do things over, I look to the future.
At the moment, my future looks pretty insecure. Finances, job situation, probate court...geez! This is when I must remind myself that my future IS secure. I do not know what this week will hold, and I do not know how this year will end, but I know that I am safely in the arms of Jesus...no matter what. I have settled it in my heart that my eternal future is secure in Christ...and now I must trust that He is making intercession on my behalf regarding my earthly future.
I love the words to The Desert Song:
This is my prayer in the battleWhen triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
And I will bring praise, I will bring praiseNo weapon formed against me shall remainAnd I will rejoice, and I will declareGod is my victory and He is here. Help me Lord to trust that you are working things for my good. That you are holding my hand securely, even in times of change and uncertainty. Help me to be the Proverbs 31 woman you have called me to be. Proverbs 31: 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,and she laughs without fear of the future. Amen.